Hi there. A couple of things here, firstly I think it comes down to a issue if communication. Have you actually communicated to him how his actions make you feel or are you just assuming that he knows? If you are just assuming try approaching the subject directly.
Be careful here not to point fingers, don't say "YOU make me feel this way" or "if you loved me", you will only get hostility back. Take the responsibly for your own feeling, say something like "I understand that these are my feelings, but could you help me work through this?" You see the difference?
If you ask for his help you are more likely to get co-operation than if you say something like "you make me...". Even if you have talked to him directly, try again. If that doesn't work then you have a decision to make. If you can't encourage him to a place that is mutually beneficial then you have to accept him for what he is and understand that is how it is going to be, or leave.
If he can't show empathy towards your feelings, and he can't communicate, then things probably won't change, can you live with how they are is the question?
It's never going to be easy to leave a 10 year relationship, but write down on paper exactly what you want in a relationship, then see if he is ever going to provide that. If he isn't then leaving might be the best thing for both of you. We all deserve to get the kind of love that we want.
