The one thing I noticed first about your post was the physical description of where you live...no carpeting. My answer is: you have a place to live, that's great! You've been on disability for most of your life...that's great, you've had money flowing towards you. And, the best thing of all is that you have a DREAM. Within that dream there is Hope. I think that is where you have to start, Mr. Dreamer. Psychological disorders can be huge bumps in the road or it can be huge opportunities for growth. I met a man that lectured that his disorder, bipolar 1, with all it's chaos and emotional upheaval, was actually his greatest advantages. I have bipolar (and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety), and I immediately took to his message. He is right. Having a disorder can be a plus when you can learn to control it, or if not control it, master yourself within it without worrying about others understanding of it. Mastering yourself is the key. I made a tiny goal two years ago. To have the sink clean at the end of the day. I succeeded 98% of the time and the 2% of the time was an opportunity to learn to be lighter on myself for not reaching 100%. Because, with a disorder, when we make accomplishments, we forget to celebrate them. Sometimes, we even forget to acknowledge some of the big ones. I saturated my mind and soul with GRATITUDE during meditation. Doing so, opened my consciousness to my other accomplishments. I started to BUILD ON those ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Then, everyday I picked up another reason to be grateful. Feeling grateful propelled me further. Mr. Dreamer, money flows to you already. In whatever way it was, it flows. (Many people apply for aid and are denied.) My greatest blessing was getting the right medication for my disorders, cognitive behavioral therapy (talk therapy), EMDR, and Bipolar Support Groups. I had a dream about healing, I believed that I could heal, and plop, so many resources that had never been available before opened up. There are books written on just about any subject dealing with all disorders. The library is a hidden jewel. Good books to start with are Mind over Mood by Daniel Greenberger, and Feeling Good by David Burns. Studying Zen has also helped me and I give a huge thanks to EMDR which is the answer to PTSD. Afterward, getting in touch with other people at your level of healing gives you practice at being in touch with where you are at in your healing process. Also, it's good practice in just socializing on whatever level you can. It took me years to delve into my disorder because I believed the more I focused on it the worse I would get. Well, I'm getting better and better and you can, too. Be calm, be still, and have peace....Shah
Sep 03, 2008 Rating
Hi there, good question by: Cody
Hi There and thank you for your question,
You know what? good on you for wanting more out of life, no reason you can't have it. What you you are describing is a long journey, but you can succeed.
First step is to let go of your past. I personally would make every effort to never speak or write about those things again, that person has gone, don't identify with that person and don't talk about him. Identify with who you are becoming not what you no longer are.
Another thing that will help very quickly is asking better questions. This will change your focus and get you much better results, for example ask questions such as:
"how do I develop character?"
"how do I build confidence and self esteem?"
"How can I get the education I need?"
"how can I give more to society and become a productive and valued member?"
"what is my next step?"
"How can I become the man that the type of woman I want will love?"
Do you see it's a complete change of focus which will bring completely different results.
The only thing your past gives you is an excuse and this will get you nothing. it's about starting again today and moving forward. Let go of what's happened and focus on what you want to happen.
