Ok, probably not what you want to hear but how you think others see you is actually how you see yourself. You can tell yourself that you accept how you are all day long, but ultimately there is some uncertainty in your own identity or else there could be no concern for the opinion of others.
The reason you care is probably because you need approval from others. If you didn't what reason would you have to care?
The answer is within you. Work on yourself and your own self image and self esteem, everything else will just follow. We should always value the opinion of others and welcome it, but just be independent of it if that makes sense.
