Help urgently with lying problem.

by hannah
(united kingdom)

Say what you want about this but I am sorry.

I lied. I lied big time. I lied to all my friends. It started off a small lie, I had a boyfriend. Then it escalated into: I had a boyfriend who hit me loads and I broke his nose and I got fingered by him while I was drunk and high and he keeps contacting me.
I know it's horrible.
I told the truth finally to everybody. They said it's fine and they were happy I told the truth but I can tell everyone hates me and is upset with me now and I just don't know how to cope. I feel sick every time someone looks at me and I want to die.
While all this was going on me and my friend had been self harming. Now, my other friend went to the nurse about this and the nurse told the headteacher who told her parents.
Her parents went crazy at her and some how it's all swung back round to me!
When really it was the other friend who ratted her out.
Now she hates me and her parents wont let her be friends with me and I don't know what to do cos i've got no one else. But i'm still lying to my boyfriend and nothing you can say will make me stop that because if i tell the truth he will break up with me.

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